Chapter 28

Wrecking her innocence 28

Lila

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. The second Ryder left the room, the tears came hard and fast. I bent forward on the bed, arms wrapped around my stomach like I could keep everything inside. My shoulders shook. Quiet sobs turned into loud, broken ones. I pressed my face into the pillow to muffle the sound, but it didn’t help. The ache in my chest felt too big, too sharp. like something had cracked open and wouldn’t close.

After a while – I don’t know how long – I sat up. My eyes burned. My throat felt raw. I looked around the room. The lamp still glowed softly on the nightstand. The sheets were tangled from where we’d been lying. The hole in the geiling stared down at me, dark and silent. Everything felt wrong.

I stood slowly. My legs felt unsteady. I walked to the door on quiet feet, opened it, and slipped out. The hallway was dark and empty. I went upstairs to my own room, closed the door behind me, and leaned against it. Then the years came again harder this time. I slid down to the floor, hugged my knees to my chest, and cried until my head throbbed and my eyes elt swollen shut.

Eventually, exhaustion won. I crawled into bed without changing. Pulled the covers over my head. I fell asleep with tears still drying on my cheeks.

When I woke up the next morning, sunlight poured through the curtains. My head hurt. My eyes felt puffy and heavy. I didn’ t move right away. I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, replaying last night in my mind. The way he yelled. The way he looked at me, like I’d done something unforgivable. The way he walked out.