“At the last auction I ever hosted, a VIP mystery buyer announced, out of nowhere, that he wanted to put his pregnant wife up for sale.

His explanation was calm, almost rehearsed: “”My first love had a miscarriage. And my wife was the one responsible.””

“”Not only that—my wife made a habit of flaunting her pregnant belly in front of my first love, deliberately tormenting her.””

“”I want to punish my wife. But I can’t bring myself to do it.””

“”So I’m asking everyone here tonight to do it for me.””